Favorite Memories
Kelly’s family and friends wrote the stories and tributes on this page. Everyone at the Kelly Heinz-Grundner Foundation thanks them for their hard work and support in creating this wonderful page of memories.
Kelly’s Friend Torra Delano-Yianilos
Kelly’s Friend Jennifer Schonour
Kelly’s Friend Leslie McElfresh
 With Jo Ellen, Coty and Chloe - 2002 |
 With Jo Ellen - 2003 |
 Kelly, Jo Ellen, Scott, Jason and Jenny |
 Scott, Jo Ellen and Kelly |
I feel very honored to have known Kelly Heinz-Grundner. Kelly was my special cousin. My first memories of her were as a vivacious, charismatic, and extremely loving child. She was so energetic, and always had an enthusiastic, beaming smile that seemed to shout out “Let’s go and embark on a new adventure!” She was always my fun-loving “partner in crime.” Along with our other beloved cousin, Scott, who passed away suddenly at the age of 25, we made up an improvised version of “the three musketeers.” Kelly and Scott helped make my childhood a wonderful experience filled with love, laughter, and many crazy mishaps.
We spent so much of our early youth together, and one of the favorite spots to meet at was our Grandparent’s cottage on Lake Huron. Swimming the big waves on innertubes, sharing ghost stories in the dark, and staying up way past our bedtime were just a few of my favorite childhood memories of her. Kelly grew into such a remarkable young woman. Life without her is so difficult, she is a part of my foundation as a human being. During the really difficult days I reflect on these words by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Nothing is ever completely lost-that which is excellent remains forever a part of this universe.”
Kelly was such a magnificent person, an inspiration to everyone. Two traits I especially admired in Kelly were her courage and her passion for living. She always made the most out of everything she did. Anais Nin wrote “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” These words truly illustrate Kelly’s outstanding life.
I loved her individuality, her indomitable nature, and her enormous heart. From the moment she was diagnosed, she fought this illness with grace and tremendous strength. Through her pain and her extremely difficult battle, she was always concerned not with herself, but for the people in her life. She reached out to us with phone calls, compassion-filled words, and great caring. At a time when most would be consumed with their own problems, Kelly put everyone else and their happiness first.
One of the things I was most impressed with was Kelly’s ability to continually grow and develop into an even more beautiful person while battling this disease. She was paralyzed in several areas on her left side, and yet you would never know it talking to her. She didn’t focus on what she couldn’t do, but what she could do. After her operation, she took the opportunity to appreciate life even more. She was always positive and her encouragement and words of wisdom will forever remain a part of me. Nina O’Neil said “Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn, to reconceive ourselves as individuals, to chose the kind of change that will help us grow and fulfill ourselves more deeply.” This was how Kelly led her life. She turned every challenge into an opportunity.
Kelly’s passing is a devastating loss to this world. But thankfully we are left with the wonderful memories and the different ways she touched our lives. Kelly had such warmth. Her love for life, her family, and especially her husband made a tremendous impact on everyone.
Over the final two years of Kelly’s life, I had the wonderful opportunity to get to know her again. Through our late teens and twenties, we were living many states away and were busy with our lives. Before I first contacted her husband to come and visit Kelly after her operation, I was afraid I would be a burden on them and or that I would be in the way. I’m SO GRATEFUL TO GOD that I listened to my heart and did reach out. This gave me the beginning of a wonderful opportunity to get to know her again. I cherished every moment with her, and it was the best gift to be part of her life. Through sharing in her journey, Kelly gave my heart new life. She was not only a spectacular cousin, but was also the dearest friend. My advice to anyone reading this is to reach out to the ones you love, and don’t waste another moment thinking about it. Life is so short—make the most of every day.
Torra Delano-Yianilos’s Tribute
 With Torra - 2001 |
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“Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly…”
I have so many favorite Kelly memories, it is impossible to think of just one…stream of consciousness thoughts of Kelly …
My girlfriend, chicky, true blue pal… To know Kelly, even just a little, was to fall in love with her – men and women alike!
Beautiful, inside and out
Charming
Unassuming
Megawatt smile
Big belly laughs
Gourmand
Warm
Heart of Gold
Full of life
Enormously generous in all ways
Thoughtful Signature Style – totally comfortable with who she was
Larger than life personality Hilarious – cracking up everyone, including herself Good at everything! (Or so it seemed!)
Live, love, laugh is the quintessential summary of how Kelly approached life…her motto -- Just do it!
I think of Kelly every day – and miss her every day. Kelly’s essence will be with me for as long as I live -- in loving memory and in celebration of a life well lived, albeit much, much too short.
 With Jennifer - 2002 |
 With Jennifer - 2004 |
 With Jennifer - 2003 |
 Siesta Key with Jennifer - 2004 |
When I was asked by Chris to contribute something to the Kelly Heinz-Grundner Foundation website, I was reminded of how I felt when he asked me to speak at her funeral. What can you possibly say about someone like Kelly? How can you possibly put in to words what a soul like hers can make you feel with just a smile? I was fortunate enough to get more than just a smile. I was able to spend more than 2 years getting to know Kelly.
All of the time that I knew Kelly, she was living with her tumor. When we first met and became friends, we didn’t know she had a tumor. As a matter of fact, the day we met she was competing in a triathlon...with a brain tumor. The next month, she danced at my wedding...with a brain tumor. She lived and loved life more than anyone I knew…and all with a brain tumor. I have often wished that I had known Kelly before she got sick, that we could have formed our friendship in healthy times and known each other like “normal” friends. And then I remind myself, there was a reason I met Kelly after the tumor. I needed her in my life at that time and, I like to tell myself, maybe she needed me in her life at that time. Prior to our friendship and Kelly’s fight with cancer, I had never been truly emotionally challenged. I had never needed to search my soul for the meaning of something so terrible and seemingly unfair. I had never needed to speculate about higher purpose or divine plan. My life had been “easy” and I was taking things for granted. Kelly taught me all about these things: divine plans and higher purpose, but not without a great deal of humor thrown in throughout the journey.
I can recall a million memories of Kelly and nearly all of them make me smile. We spent countless hours on her sofa watching TV and talking. During these sessions Kelly would like to control the remote and who was I to stop her? However, her mind would wander or the conversation would strike her as particularly interesting and before you know it we would have watched 3 hours of the weather channel all at Volume 30! I have never known so much about droughts in the Midwest or hurricanes off the coast!
I also really enjoyed taking Kelly to therapy, for a walk or to lunch. On one particular occasion we went to Panera Bread after physical therapy, one of Kelly’s favorite places. She had a bad headache that day and all of the noise was really bothering her. The speaker in the restaurant seemed particularly loud that day and after I had asked them to turn it down twice, Kelly stood herself up with her cane, marched herself over to the counter and told them to turn the F*@%*&@ speaker down! Needless to say, they listened.
In April of 2004, my husband, Craig, and I were fortunate enough to spend a week in Florida with Chris and Kelly. It was this trip that solidified in my mind that Kelly was truly not of this world. I have never seen someone so happy in the face of such terrible suffering and insurmountable odds. One morning, Chris was fixing Kelly her breakfast and she looked at him and said, “I love you and I love my life.” How could someone who had suffered what she had and who was still fighting for her life everday, be so happy? Kelly had made a decision when she found out she had a tumor to live and love life each and every day no matter what was thrown at her and she did. How can you not be moved to model this behavior in your own life? I choked back tears as well as my eggs and continued to marvel at this gift of a person in my life.
My strongest memory of this trip was just that we all laughed so much. Each day we would walk down the beach to “The Daiquiri Deck” for the “2-for-1” daiquiri special and Kelly would belly up to the bar with the rest of us. I can vividly recall looking across the table at Kelly holding her daiquiri, with Buffalo shrimp sauce all over her face, grinning. HEAVEN. We also spent some days lounging on the beach. One day in particular stands out in my mind. Kelly was sitting in her beach wheelchair, with her big, floppy sunhat and her Walkman. She was listening to Jimmy Buffett and singing at the top of her lungs. She couldn’t have cared less what she sounded like...she was loving life! Since then, I can’t listen to Buffett without having a good chuckle, and wiping away a tear. One day in the pool, Craig was playing with a purple floating “noodle” in a way that was probably questionable. Kelly was laughing so hard I thought she was going to fall off of her floating raft. She donned it “The Purple Richard” from that day forward and we would all laugh each time she said it.
I think I have come to an appropriate end for this rambling memory that could really go on for days. I have one final memory of Kelly that I would like to share that I think conveys her spirit and her courage more than words could ever do. Each day at the pool, Craig and Chris would have to lift Kelly in due to her paralysis. This always bothered Kelly (anyone who knows her knows that she was fiercely independent and certainly wouldn’t want to unnecessarily burden anyone). So, on the last day, Chris and Craig prepared to lift Kelly into the pool. Kelly protested, worrying about their backs. She said, “wheel me to the edge of the deep end and push me in.” The three of us looked at her horrified. Chris tried to tell her that due to her paralysis and weakened state, she would not be able to swim and that she would most likely sink. Kelly understood all this and still said, “You guys are going to help me, right? Wheel me to the edge and push me.” So, after much debate, we all finally understood that there would be no reasoning with her, she was determined to get in on her own. So, Craig and I got in to “catch” her and Chris wheeled her to the edge, helped her stand up and the two counted to three together at which point Chris gently nugged her over to the edge. She fell in, went under and as she rose toward the sun with the help of Craig and I, she broke the surface of the water. We all waited with baited breath to see that she was alright...Kelly started laughing. A young woman with a brain tumor, on chemotherapy, completely paralyzed on one side, found the courage to jump into the deep end...all by herself.
 With Bill and Becky in Portland 2002 |
 With Bill, Becky and Cosmo in Dallas - 1996 |
The first time I met Chris and Kelly was in 1996, in Dallas, Texas. As we drove up towards the apartments we ran into Chris out walking their dog Cosmo in the godforsaken Texas 100 degree heat. You could hardly stand being outside but there was Chris, braving the weather, anxiously awaiting his buddy's arrival, making sure he was there to wave him safely home. Chris was so excited. With a giant smile beaming through the drivers side window a shaking of hands and a few pats on the back he directed us around to our parking spot for the weekend. When I first saw Kelly, she was about 22 yrs. old, had a cute short wavy haircut and sparkling bright blue eyes. She emerged from the bedroom in shorts and Bobbi socks exposing her strong athletic legs. Besides the Texas tan, Kelly was sporting war wounds from her last coed slow-pitch softball game. From the knees to the ankles on BOTH legs were long, bright red scabs smothered with glossy antibacterial ointment cream. She was allowing her scars to breath. As a former player, I appreciated her aggressiveness and her willingness to lay it all out. I delighted in Kelly's play by play telling of the one inning, at 1st base, in two plays that left her limbs displaying giant raspberries. But I also learned that Kelly had always played in pain. She had extremely bad knees. With a long history of knee surgeries she faced a daily grind of pain and discomfort. Despite having every reason not to slide and every reason to favor her legs she'd risk it all without hesitation and laid it all out on the field. This was beyond me. Kelly's character is vivid for me in this memory. She was a spirited, driven, competitor. A fighter and passionate lover of life with all its rides and thrills. Nothing held her back. She was all or nothing. As in ball, so to as in life, Kelly always laid it all on the field. |
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Kelly and Leslie - 2002
I did get the chance to begin our friendship “tumor” free and it has held steady to this day. And for this I am truly blessed.
A story that I would like to share is how Kelly convinced me to do this Sprint Triathlon down in Middletown Delaware at St. Andrew’s. She not only convinced me that I could do this but she also got me to join her gym where we worked out religiously to train for this event. For those who don’t know me, I’m not the type who “trains” for anything. I still have a gym membership to this day but I never use it. So the fact that Kelly said I could do this led me to believe that I actually could. What was I thinking? It’s not that I wasn’t athletic I just don’t share the same workout ethic that Kelly had. So the day of the triathlon arrives and Chris, Kelly, and I are up at the crack of dawn to make the trek down to Middletown. I’m getting ridiculed for my choice of bike, which Kelly has deemed the lazy boy of all bikes. To fully appreciate this race I should explain it to you. We start out with a ¼ mile swim (no problem I’m a fish in the water), then move into a 16 mile bike (okay, so I don’t really ride), and then finish with a 3 mile cross country run (I like to say jog or walk because there is no way I’m actually running). Kelly is pumped, Chris is on the brink of breaking records, and I could really go back to bed. They separate us so that we are in different heats. Kelly and I thankfully are in the same heat. We no sooner jump into the murky water, it’s pond water that Kelly begins to feel some unease. As a friend and one who is used to swimming in all kinds of water, I take it upon myself to try and calm her down. We move to the back of the pack so that we are not being splashed and kicked because at this point we are treading water. Soon it is time to start the race and the gun goes off. The water opens up in a flurry of splashing as we all take off as one large group. Somewhere through the first leg of the swim I happened to take a moment and see if I can locate Kelly. Just to make sure that she is doing okay since this is her first swim. I happen to notice this woman who is holding onto one of the kayak’s, which are there for the sole purpose of rescuing us swimmer and providing us with a reprieve or rest stop. I start calling out to Kelly that she needs to let go and swim. At this point she is truly scared and ready to give up. I’m thinking to myself this is not the Kelly that I know, she’s a fighter and she would be so disappointed in herself for giving up so easily. We started this race together and we were going to finish this race together. That was our goal. At this point we were not aware of how poignant this moment would be and how our friendship would be tested in the years to come. I was there for Kelly then and I was with her every step of the way when she was fighting a race that really matters. It wasn’t because I felt obligated it was just the simple fact that my friend was in need and I would do anything for my friend.
People have asked what I miss most about Kelly. There are so many things that come to mind. But the one thing that sticks out most is her smile. She could brighten your day with that smile or she could let you know that you were in the doghouse for something you did or didn’t do. But through it all she never lost that smile and it could make you feel like a million dollars just by being on the receiving end.
Jennifer Piccolo’s
Tribute
With Jenn and Pete in Utah - 2002
This is a story about Kelly “the friend” – who was forever thoughtful and always knew exactly what I needed, without ever having to ask.
I was having a bad morning. I was late for work and rushing to a meeting at the office. While driving in haste, I rolled through a stop sign a few blocks from my house and was immediately pulled over by the police. It was no surprise -- I knew what I had done and assumed that I would be issued a ticket then proceed with my day. What I did not know was that I would also be cuffed, finger printed, and tossed in jail! Unbeknownst to me, I had an outstanding ticket (from over three years prior) for an expired inspection sticker. The officer was new to the force and was careful to follow the letter of the law so I found myself behind bars within the hour. On top of this, my boyfriend and I had broken up a few days before. So when it was time for my “phone call”, I immediately turned to Kelly to bail me out.
Kelly had moved to Dallas about a year prior to what is now my somewhat comical arrest and we had become instant friends. She was obviously a little surprised as to the purpose of my call. It was one of her few days off from work as she was such a hard worker. Despite her denials, when I called I know she had other plans for the day. She of course dropped them immediately, drove to a bank to withdrawal $250 for bail, and was at the police station in less than 20 minutes. Without me saying a thing, Kelly knew what a friend needed at that moment – a big hug and a huge laugh. She just knew that if she didn’t help me laugh, I would cry all afternoon.
Kelly first drove me nearly an hour to retrieve my car from the police impound lot. The entire ordeal of driving cross-town, getting my car released and returning home took almost three hours. But Kelly made sure I wasn’t going to feel sorry for myself. She took me to lunch where, upon being seated, she didn’t hesitate to order us two large margaritas. We spent a few more hours in the afternoon sun on a patio laughing about my day, telling stories and reminiscing about our past embarrassing episodes. For a day that started with me in tears, it ended in laughter as I bonded with a friend who knew exactly what I needed at that very moment, without ever having to ask.
There are many other stories about how Kelly put others before herself. I will always remember one Hockey season--my husband and Chris’s home-team of Buffalo made the playoffs. We didn’t have cable at the time, so we couldn’t see the games. Kelly not only let my husband hang out at her place every night for about 6 weeks, but always had the refrigerator stocked with beer and the snacks ready when he came over! I will always remember during one Thanksgiving when many of us “strays” were stuck in Dallas with no family. Kelly had everyone over for an amazing dinner (of course, prepared completely by Kelly) and evening of games for entertainment. I will always remember my husband, Pete, bragging about Kelly’s hostess skills the time he and Chris, along with a few friends, returned from a camping trip. They were tired, wet, and smelly…and had just spent 3 days eating tasteless power bars and cold pasta while biking in the rain. Kelly had prepared an amazing 5 course meal with a perfectly paired wine, ready and waiting for them as they returned. Pete talks to this day about how Kelly knew just what they needed.
I know Kelly’s friends would have dozens of stories similar to this – how Kelly’s thoughtfulness always seemed to brighten someone’s day. Her needs came second to those she loved. Somehow, she had an innate intuition about how to make everything seem okay. She carried this unique skill to the very end, constantly concerned about how those around her were feeling. Kelly truly cherished her friends and family every day of her life. This is what I will miss most about my friend, Kelly.
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